Most everybody has had a “good riddance to dangerous garbage” second when it got here to ending a poisonous relationship. The sensation of lastly chopping ties with somebody who has introduced nothing however negativity and drama into your life could be extremely liberating. However most of the time, the “dump-ee” has some remaining phrases to say on the matter.
It is a widespread prevalence for an ex to lash out with hurtful and insulting remarks after being dumped. They might attempt to damage you with phrases in an try and make themselves really feel higher in regards to the state of affairs. It is essential to keep in mind that these phrases should not a mirrored image of your price as an individual and to not allow them to have an effect on you.
Have any extra “nasty” issues that an ex has stated to you after you had dumped them? Share your tales within the feedback under. Let’s hear the worst of the worst and provides one another some digital help throughout this tough time.
One factor I do not perceive is, HE wished out, HE was sleeping with my greatest pal (and obtained her pregnant whereas we had been in marriage counseling) so once I stated okay, lets finish it, he was enraged. He advised me the world can be a greater place if my mom had scraped me out with a rusty coat hanger than if I had been born. He additionally stated, “You may by no means discover somebody to deal with you the best way I did.” THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT.
In an interview with psychologist and household therapist Shannon Benson, Bored Panda requested her to clarify the function of gender roles and cultural backgrounds in how exes talk after a breakup. “Gender roles can affect the best way that women and men specific their feelings and talk with their exes,” stated Benson.
“For instance, conventional gender roles might counsel that males are purported to be much less expressive of their feelings and extra more likely to suppress them, whereas girls are anticipated to be extra open and expressive. This may occasionally end in males being much less more likely to provoke communication with their exes, or much less more likely to specific vulnerability and unhappiness, whereas girls could also be extra more likely to attain out and specific their emotions.”
He requested everybody he knew to name me and say what a loser I’m, and so on., however I obtained no calls. Seems all of them sided with me and now a have one other enormous group of buddies.
Job failed efficiently.
My ex (mom to my son) stated I am a tragic a loser and nobody else would need me. She abused me for the 2 years we had been collectively. I have been in a cheerful relationship for 7 years now and have the perfect relationship with my son from my ex. I even have a son with my present companion. š
Benson additionally highlighted that cultural backgrounds can play a task in how exes talk after a breakup. “Totally different cultures might have totally different expectations or norms round communication, emotional expression, and relationships,” she famous.
“For instance, some cultures might place extra emphasis on preserving relationships and sustaining concord, whereas others could also be extra individualistic and deal with private development and self-expression. This may occasionally end in exes from totally different cultural backgrounds speaking in another way after a breakup. For instance, in some cultures, direct confrontation is likely to be seen as rude and be averted, whereas different cultures might view direct confrontation as an essential side of communication.”
Not mine however was given permission to share it.
My sister dated this man for like 2 years. Tremendous manipulative and poisonous a**gap. He flipped his lid when she lastly had sufficient and broke it off.
Informed her she was “f*cking nugatory in any case” and “___ was a greater f*ck anyhow” then he advised her he had been planning to “drop [her] a** anyhow as a result of [she was] beginning to actually pack on the kilos and it was getting gross.”
She had an consuming dysfunction for years. And she or he was actually solely beginning to get again to a wholesome weight, so calling her fats was probably the cruelest factor he may’ve carried out.
Fortunately, shed been going to remedy by that time and was actually pleased with the added weight so the phrases did not do what he wished.
“You are nothing however a lazy consumer who no one desires and no one loves!!! I additionally reported your canine stolen and despatched each your footage to each vet within the state so you may be arrested if you carry him in for his photographs!!!”
Not completed with all of the authorized nonsense, however a no-contact order works wonders.
The household therapist additionally advised us in regards to the distinction between wholesome and unhealthy communication from an ex post-breakup. “Wholesome communication is characterised by mutual respect, kindness, and a willingness to pay attention and perceive one another’s perspective,” shared Shannon. “It’s centered on resolving conflicts and discovering a strategy to transfer ahead in a optimistic approach. It’s respectful and non-threatening. However, unhealthy communication could be disrespectful and sometimes contains private assaults, verbal abuse or manipulation, and makes an attempt to manage the opposite individual. It might make it laborious to search out closure and transfer on, and might escalate conflicts.”
Once I realized he was a narcissist, I made a decision to finish issues. My son had handed away the 12 months earlier than from cardiac arrest introduced on by power drinks. When he began gaslighting me (once more) and I stated I used to be carried out, he obtained nasty and bodily.
He advised me that if Iād been a greater mom, my son would nonetheless be alive. I misplaced it and tried to depart. He dove into the automobile as I used to be leaving, inflicting me to by chance run over his leg. I referred to as 911, then he pulled a gun on me whereas I used to be on the cellphone.
The dispatcher overheard the entire dialog and despatched the police. He tried to say I mowed him down however he was partially within the passenger, hanging out the door in order that they didnāt imagine him. They arrested him based mostly on what the dispatcher had relayed. Per week later he was arrested AGAIN for breaking his sonās jaw. No revenge wanted.
He advised me that he wasnāt in search of something criticalā¦we had been collectively for 8 years, lived collectively for six and I had raised his kids like my very own. He may simply by no means cease dishonest.
Benson emphasised that “everybody heals in another way and has totally different boundaries,” and it is essential to “hearken to oneself and discover what works greatest for you and your particular person wants.” She additionally reminded that “nobody ought to tolerate any type of verbal abuse or harassment,” and that it is essential to “take steps to guard oneself from unhealthy communication.”
That with out him I am nothing.
It was simply his poisonous, narcissistic manipulation to belittle me, as he was doing related issues for 7 years (the time we had been collectively). And this was hilarious, as a result of I used to be taking good care of all the pieces about our relationship – it was me who discovered and furnished our house, I used to be cooking, cleansing, and paying for a lot of the stuff as I’ve a greater paid job. I dumped him as a result of he was a narcissist and cared solely about himself.
That he’d slept along with his ex the evening earlier than and it had proven him how a lot he “actually cared” for me. You already know, as a result of there is not any higher strategy to say “I really like you” than forking another person.
My ex broke up with me after which despatched me this complete textual content essay about how they by no means liked me and that I used to be only a sport to them.
It is possibly not “nasty” however I nonetheless cannot wrap my head round it. He stated, “It will work should you’d change your angle”. Certain… I actually simply needs to be okay with being talked right down to the entire time, with being ignored, with being gaslighted… positive factor.
He put me within the hospital. Severely beat me as a result of I had no proper, apparently, to decide about āhis lifeā with out him. This was after a struggle the place heād obtained offended about me utilizing contraception as a result of *he* wished kids.
(25 years in the past. I donāt know if heās even nonetheless alive and Iām pleased with that.)
My ex-fiancĆ©e, the week that my brother died, despatched me an e-mail about how we needed to delete our wedding ceremony Fb account and that I used to be a horrible individual. I do know that he knew about my brother dying, as a result of we’ve got mutual buddies that might have advised him. I am glad that I ended issues with somebody who waited until it damage essentially the most to harm me extra.
This was one of many many horrible issues he stated, but it surely stands out essentially the most.
My EX taunted me saying, “you’ve gotten one thing like a p*nis… solely smaller!” I stated, “Oh, you appear to be my new girlfriend… solely fatter and fewer versatile.” She did not take all of it that nicely!
Popping out of a two 12 months baby-trap relationship between her and my checking account the place my son and I had been simply background characters. Two years of emotional abuse, controlling and coercive behaviour ruined relationships with family and friends, misplaced my job, and a *lot* of bodily abuse – which was all the time backed up with “there’s nothing you are able to do to cease me, I can do no matter I wish to you”. That was true, she was completely proper. I am fourteen inches taller than her and shut to a few instances her body weight so nobody would have ever taken me severely if I might spoken out, possible they’d suppose I used to be attempting to cowl my tracks or one thing (that is going again a number of many years). Factor is although, it does not matter how huge you’re when somebody takes a dinner plate and swings it full power like a hammer so the sting of it hits your high two entrance tooth – if you’re asleep. Or they stick a needle beneath your fingernail, clamp your toes within the Ā£200 hair straightener you simply purchased them. Nor does it assist if you’ve let your guard down – like if you’re being intimate, it is going very nicely, then out of the blue with no warning the individual on high of you begins utilizing your jaw as a punchbag whereas laughing at you (you’ll be able to’t see them due to my beard, however I’ve obtained little flower formed scars alongside my jawline on each side from the place her rings lower in to my cheeks).
Anyhow, the factor that sticks most in my thoughts from that point is from once I simply packed a giant bag for my son (I haven’t got even one single possession, merchandise, no household picture’s, something in any respect from my life earlier than the age of 26, simply my medals which occurred to be at my Dad’s home) and walked out to save lots of us each. Her parting shot was “High quality, take the little ba***rd, it is a f****ing c**t anyway. I by no means wished it, ought to have drowned it within the f’king bathtub cos it is ineffective identical to you. I am gonna inform social providers you beat me and did issues to the child in order that they’ll take him off you anyway, then if you’re in jail I will simply go away the little c**t on a bus for somebody to take”.
Now, I am no angel, I am not even a very good individual. Particularly once I was youthful my go-to response for something I felt slighted by was to precise my displeasure through the use of my paws quite than my phrases (there’s causes behind it however this submit is much too lengthy already) – however saying that, I’ve by no means *ever* put my arms on a lady in that approach, and to the day I draw my final breath I by no means ever will. By all of the abuse, trauma, distress it by no means even as soon as crossed my thoughts, however simply in that one instantaneous – for instance it was a really, *very* shut name. I am not pleased with that in any approach form or kind, however proper in that instantaneous turning round and strolling away, selecting to de-escalate quite than retaliate, “permitting” that one that’s simply upset me to stroll away with out “punishing them” for it, that is the one most self restraint I’ve needed to present with something ever.
One cheated on me & advised me I used to be an alcoholic (after he obtained a DUI). One other stated that I used to be mentally in poor health as a result of I used to be leaving him after he’d cheated on me (then he obtained into the packing containers I might packed & stole a number of of my issues). One other advised me that he hated that I might lower my hair, that I ought to skip lunches (apparently I used to be getting too fats for him), and that it wasn’t laborious work however merely dumb luck that I might been in a position to land an awesome profession (however he had no downside spending the cash I made on previous vehicles & different ineffective c**p, together with utilizing MY severance verify to purchase an previous Ford pickup). Once I advised him I wished a divorce, he was shocked. Actually? He guilt-tripped me into leaving a sofa that was bought with MY bonus verify & ended up giving it away after I left.
I’ve my grandmother’s luck in the case of awful males!
āWhat sort of a mom would a lady like YOU be?ā
I had change into shut buddies with an Irish co-worker. He was a reasonably naĆÆve nation boy who liked my tattoos and ever-changing hair coloration, and was all the time fascinated with my uncommon upbringing and adventures. Till we drunkenly connected after our firmās Xmas social gathering, and I turned pregnant.
I used to be virtually 30 and wished to have it and stay buddies. He threatened to return to Eire to keep away from baby help if I didn’t do what HE and his household again house wanted- which was to have the infant and provides it up for adoption. On the identical time, he wished to call it after an ex-girlfriend of his. (WT precise F?) Iām by myself in each sense with no household or help system, and I didnāt need my baby to develop up in the identical depressing poverty that I did. So I had an abortion. Because it turned out, I used to be by no means in a position to get pregnant once more. So my āhouseholdā dies with me.
My ex advised me that I’d by no means ever get somebody of his caliber ever, and that I’d wind up with some grease-monkey. Properly I did marry a person who labored on vehicles for a dwelling, and he made 3 instances what my ex made, and now my faculty graduate ex is in his 60s and hasn’t labored in his area in many years and now works at a sporting items retailer barely above minimal wage.
He took all of my greatest insecurities and made enjoyable of them. He advised me I needs to be insecure about them and listed out examples of how true they had been.
My husband advised me he did not wish to pay alimony as a result of we do not have youngsters. And due to this fact I used to be in a position to construct my profession inside our marriage. Guess what: we had a son (stillborn) in 2019 AND an elaborate fertility program that led to a miscarriage after in 2021. So yeah, his remark actually damage me.
I advised my ex to decide on between his dependancy or the youngsters and myself. He stated straight out stated his dependancy. Good riddance.
After I broke up with my ex (after a 12 months of his condescending habits and I lastly had sufficient after he berated me for posing with an commercial/billboard of certainly one of my fav Okay-pop stars), he advised me for my subsequent relationship I get into, I’d most definitely be bodily abused.
My ex-wife advised me Iām a fraud, broke each image of me in the home, and advised me āF*** your musicā (I’ve a aspect gig as a musician). She then spent six months begging me to come back again, however once I lastly advised her Iām by no means coming again, she advised individuals in texts that went to my ten-year-old childās iPad that Iām a ālaughable mum or dadā and that she is the sufferer of my abuse. Itās been a continuing, full lunacy ever since.
She stated, “I solely slept with him (my greatest pal at the moment) as soon as!”
We weren’t unique or something however had been shut buddies for years earlier than we began hooking up. A couple of months after issues fell aside we talked and he advised me he had recognized for a couple of 12 months that we should not be in contact.
So I requested him why he had hung out with me though him figuring out higher. The reply was that he had been single for eight years and due to this fact was determined and that I needed to perceive.
That I am not ok to be liked however my pal, whom you met by me is sweet sufficient. Occurred 4 instances in a row, by 4 totally different individuals that do not know one another. It have to be true.
“You are not fairly sufficient to dump somebody like me. The truth is, *I* say it is over between us!”
I do not know if it counts, since I did not dump them. However the first lady I dated left me for the man she was dishonest on me with, and he or she advised me explicitly. She additionally advised me how a lot better he was than me.
The second lady I dated admitted to intentionally attempting to push me into taking myself out.
Dumped him as a result of he couldn’t cease dishonest on me. Informed him the day I broke up with him, I couldnāt imagine I gave him my virginity and he had the gall to inform me he had been a virgin, too. Pure unadulterated a*****e!
Observe: this submit initially had 63 photos. Itās been shortened to the highest 30 photos based mostly on consumer votes.
